Writing journals on here feels so much more SAFE than bulletins on myspace, because the people who read them are comprised of two groups: 1.) the friends who genuinely care about me, and 2.) complete (or practically complete) strangers.

I just re-read this and there seemed to be this giant leap between that ^ first paragraph and the resulting questions. I should be tired, but I'm not. I get much too publicly introspective when I'm ill. Sorry? :S XD =] <---- how I feel.

I mean.

I was thinking.

Do you ever think about how weird people are? Or how stupid?

Do you believe in fate? Do you think things happen for a reason?

What do you think when you think? I'm sure everyone goes about it in different ways. I wish I could be inside your head, I want to understand everyone, but mostly I want to make them understand me.

Is that selfish? I like to write, I should be good with words, why can I only explain my feelings with such perfect coherency on my own, in my own head?

Even when I try to write it down it's never right.

Most of me is this ^^ right now, wanting to understand the world in some magical, light-bulb-switching-on way, but underneath that I'm shallowly (compared to what else I'm thinking of - is shallowly even a word?) excited, for Reading Festival, for summer in general, for new experiences and uni and a GREAT BIG FUTURE I don't know anything about, which scares me less shitless in the middle of the night, for some stupid reason.

Why are we this complicated?

No one knows?

Then why does no one care that no one knows??? Or at least, they never say so.

I could never say this in person, I'd be too tongue-tied and embarrassed. It only works to a mass audience I think, but it's not something you can just announce.

I am now coming to a very blunt end.

Good night, good luck, best wishes to you all. =]